I have been an atheist since I was a child. I have seen nothing since that has steered me from the conclusion that there is no god, heaven, supernatural, next life and for that matter space aliens and Bigfoot.
When I was about 11-yrs old my grandmother, Mary Kate Diemond died. She lived with our family. I was the closest grandchild to her. My mother, her daughter, brought me into the bedroom where Nanny lay expired. “Take a last look at your grandmother.” she said. I did. Nanny’s mouth was agape and her eyes open in vacant contorted expression no movie actor has ever managed to duplicate. Realizing she was dead, a concept I hadn’t heretofore considered, I looked at Mom pleadingly. Being a good Irish Catholic she said “God took her to live with him.”……. What!!
Well I hated God from that minute. For the next year I muttered my feelings at God more or less daily. My hate gave me no satisfaction because I had gotten no reaction from God; contrary to the brimstone and hellfire the Nuns threatened me with every Saturday (when I could have been watching cartoons). Very frustrating when the object of your ire ignores you completely.
At about the end of a year I decided that there must not be any God. I felt a lot better. Relieved. Enlightened. I was twelve.
That’s how I became an atheist.
Though I always question the notion of God in any event where “he” comes up in the discussion. But the debate is over for me. I cannot prove that there is no God, but the plethora of evidence points to no God.
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One childhood friend who went thru the weekend Catholic grind with me in those formative years comes to mind. Decades later I wound up taking a ride with him in his truck. As we rode by St Patrick’s Church, he (devout! Catholic) was shocked to learn I was an atheist.
“If you’re an atheist what keeps you from killing people?” he asked me.
“You can drop me off at the next corner. ” I said, warily eyeing the buck knife lying on the dashboard.
